Begin again


Today I was so closed to finishing up a hat I was knitting for my son. He had chosen the colors and was very excited about the combination. And yet, it just wasn’t right – it was uncomfortably tight, and the pattern didn’t work out the way we had expected. I had a quick (silent) convo with myself about whether it was about perfectionism, or just being honest with myself. And he was trying to be really aware of my feelings and he didn’t want to tell me he didn’t like it… but after we both danced around it for a while, I declared that if he didn’t love it, then what was the point. And we pulled out the stitches together, and I cast on again.

I haven’t knit in ages, but I had some car time this weekend so it was fun to get back into knitting (and road trip knitting is the best kind of knitting), but I feel happy to make something he loves. And I feel happy to make something I love. I have spent so much time knitting and sewing things to justify impulse purchases – “I need to make a hat out of this yellow yarn,” because I liked the way it looked on the shelf.

And then in ended up wearing things I hated to justify the knitting that I had done to justify the impulse purchase. So, in the last few years I have made big shifts – stopped buying yarn unless it had a very specific plan, and buy good yarn that I couldn’t wait to start knitting. I often cast in for my gauge swatch within hours of my yarn purchase. Now I spend way less on yarn now, and I only have materials i love.

Texturized Cowl


For over 6 months, every knitting project I started fizzled out into a mess. Some were frogged (pulled out), some are still in a bag, pretending like they might behave someday. I just needed something lovely and easy and being spoon-fed was a bonus. I needed success. This kit caught my eye and I was smitten.

And once I started this cowl, I couldn’t stop! I listened to Red, White, & Royal Blue on audiobook and knit until it was done – it only took about 3 days of stolen moments, a very successful play date, and some late nights. I have already cast on for a second!

Called Texturized Cowl, it was a kit from The Whole Knit n’Caboodle, including their hand-dyed yarns.

February 27


I started a knitting project yesterday, and I have had such a knitting slump this past year that every time I start a successful project I feel this deep relief to have knitting in my hands again (there have been many unsuccessful projects – wrong yarn, fabric didn’t feel right…). It’s like it releases my brain from duty and it is free to wander the hills and dales.

My thoughts wander a lot – I have always been a daydreamer, but now that is joined by reflection – and this is the way I can keep my hands busy but let my thoughts go. In truth, my thoughts wander all the time, but that means it takes me longer to accomplish household tasks or whatever it is on my list today. So, knitting feels like a relief because it is complete permission for my mind to wander and my body to be still.